Thursday, 18 January 2007

I hate Kylie Minogue.....and people who can't drive!

Disclaimer - This is going to be a rant, so if you're a) easily offended or b) someone important its probably a good idea if you don't read it! (you can also skip the first half to get the juicy ranting)

Lets start from the beginning:

6:30am - My alarm goes off and after pressing the snooze button once I get up, I endure a fairly cold shower and get ready for the day. I'm still sniffling and feel manky.
7:00am - Say bye to girlfriend and set off to hospital
8:15am - Arrive at hospital having spent an hour fighting through a very heavy storm, traffic is bad but parking relatively easy for a change. I realise I've forgotten my swipe card so have to wait outside for someone to let me in.
9:00am - Get to clinic - obviously consultant is late but that's to be expected.
9:30am - Clinic starts, see various babies, mostly with feeding problems (aka - parents who obsessively weigh their children and become worried at nothing)
11:30am - Spend half an hour waiting for a child who eventually doesn't turn up. In the mean time, me and my consultant discuss why many 21st century parents are crap and why the media cause so many frenzies about child health.
12:00pm- Go for lunch, sit with a bunch of bitchy medics, woo hoo
12:30pm - Go to medical student committee meeting, am late and miss the only relevant bit to me.
1:00pm - Spend an hour in the library checking emails and blog comments rather than doing work.
2:00pm - PBL - oh happy days! Session is relatively painless, tutor says very little and its obvious her opinions on PBL are similar to mine. Excellent.
3:20pm - PBL finishes, I decide that I'm feeling like shit due to still having cold so I decide to go home rather than brave a couple of hours 'on take' in the children's ward.

Here is where the really angry bit starts

3:30pm - Set off home - Expect to be home about 5pm (thanks to the medical school for sending me 40 miles away.) Traffic is already atrocious because the motorways around the hospital are closed due to high winds! 'Fair enough' I think to myself, I take a different route to the motorway and after queuing briefly, manage to get to the motorway without too many problems.
4:00pm - Continue down the motorway without too many problems, I'm getting blown all over the place but at least its not raining.
4:30pm -Hear on radio about huge traffic problems on motorways, infact, the motorway is closed further on. 'Shit,' I think to myself. Motorway is closed. The suggested diversion takes me a different way which I'm unfamiliar with but it shouldn't take too much longer than usual. Infact I'm pleasantly surprised how quiet it is.
4:45pm - I spoke too soon. I've hit traffic, its awful, I'm at a standstill, still miles from home, its starting to fucking rain and I'm not really sure where I am. Oh well, I think positive and turn the radio up, keeping one ear open for travel news. There is plenty of it, every few minutes my radio switches stations only to inform me that there is traffic chaos due to the weather! Great. I'm completely stuck moving at 2mph and I've got no idea where the heck I'm going.
5:00pm - I'm moving VERY slowly, creeping along. The traffic news announces that various roads are closed due to unsafe buildings/fallen trees/fuck knows what else. I begin to realise that I'm stuck for a while.
6:00pm - I've been stuck for an hour, have travelled about a mile and am already livid! I've still got no idea where I am or whats going on! The radio is still telling me the 'windy death toll' is rising. What time will I get home? Who knows. I start taking pictures on my phone to amuse myself as I'm bored out of my mind crawling along.
6:30pm - I start to recognise where I am, not really where I want to be and I'm still blooming crawling!! For fucks sake! The road in front of me is closed! - Have to go a different way, am shouting at the cars in front. Some cheeky person tries to nip in front of me after nipping down a quiet lane! POO TO THAT! I beep my horn and he slowly retreats but nips in behind me, what a tit! I get to a junction, its packed full of cars in all directions but it seems that nobody knows how to drive. "Get the hell out of the yellow box you ignorant fool" i scream. It makes no difference, nobody can go anywhere because people are blocking the junction. Where are the fucking police when you need them?
7:00pm - I finally get somewhere near home, but despite having had a brief period of clear road I'm at a standstill yet again queueing to get off the dual carriageway. The queue is long and slow, I creep along but I can already see people cutting in, cheating the queue, twats! I beep my horn some more as knob heads try to cut in front of me. They can wait the cheats! I get closer and closer to the end of the junction, unfortunately that just means more cheeky gits are trying to cheat the queue by cutting in. Your typical white van man (see picture above) goes right to the end of the queue and begins to indicate!!!!! I throw my fucking map on the floor and beep my horn, I'm so ANGRY! What makes him so special? I'm more intelligent, more important and a decent driver. I have to wait my turn so why doesn't he? Because he's a fool that's why!!!!!!!
7:30pm - I finally get home, am screaming with rage inside, am exhausted, horrendously bored and fed up with driving. Over 4 hours it took me!!!!!
7:31pm - Am greeted with a vanilla milkshake and cuddle from my girlfriend to calm me down! 8:00pm - Finally calm down, relax, and write angry blog post.

Soo...why do I hate Kylie? Well, on top of the fools who can't drive, the closed motorways due to high winds and the closed roads due to unsafe buildings there is a Kylie concert on. Thousands of cars full of Kylie fans make the situation worse, not only are they making the traffic situation worse but in an effort to make sure they're not late for the concert they are dumping their cars at the side of the road acting like fat in an artery!! I blame Kylie, although its more to do with the stupid weather, people who can't drive and the medical school for forcing me away in the first place!

*breathes....* Rant over.


The Angry Medic said...

Hahahahaha...the bit in the middle around the white van man part actually made me laugh.

Great stuff. See, what did I tell you? Moaning CAN be therapeutic.

the little medic said...

Very theraputic. Better than throwing things anyways. Reading it back now, I may have gone a bit over the top but I was SO ANGRY!

Glad it made you laugh :)

j00ni said...

Apparently one of the patient transports to St Mary's got stranded for ages too, our consultant blamed kylie too and it made me chuckle recalling your blog (as the couldn't use the chopper with the winds).